I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!

SEAN PROPOSED TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Ok, now that I've got that out of my system...we were sitting on my futon, and he was looking at me, and told me that I was his very best friend and that when he realized he knew it was time that he...and then I hugged him crying.

He already had the ring open, and I was speechless. After a few minutes I said yes, and then we just sat there for a few minutes. I had no clue it was coming. He had been planning it since around Christmas.

I'm just going to say that I never could have imagined that I would meet someone so perfect for me, let alone get the chance to marry him. He knows what I need and is just the best guy ever. Pretty much, I can't wait to become Elizabeth Snyder!!

Claire

I'm just going to say that Claire is a fighter. They weren't able to do all that they wanted to with her surgery, and then she started bleeding out and almost died. The surgeon was able to restart her heart though. That was late Thursday night. Now, she's awake and wanting to be held and breathing some on her own, and she's pink!! Praise God.

...

Life. Do we really realize how blessed we all are to have a life, and to be fairly healthy for it? My cousin Claire is having the first of many heart surgeries today. Johnny and Sonia adopted her in November from China. She's a cute little girl who deserves the best, but is just not healthy. She was born with a rare heart defect. If this surgery did not take place, doctors believe she wouldn't make it another year. As it is, the surgery is still risky.

I was thinking about this earlier. I've been really blessed to never have any major health scares. Sure, I've been sick, but never anything truly life threatening. But then, when I look at my family, I see the risk I am at later in life. I have to do something about that. I have to stay healthy, because I have so many things I want to do in life, things that I want to experience. Even if I don't develop some of these issues until later in life, I don't want to be stopped.

I just want to live, and experience all that I can in life!!

Community

What exactly is community? It's a question that I've thought about a lot in the last few days. Seriously...what is it? I know that in the most literal sense that most people think of, it's the same area a person lives in with the people around them. And that's true. But thinking about it from a Res. Living standpoint, it's the interactions between people in that common living area. For example, the interactions between the residents on my hall.

The problem is, I'm not totally sold on that kind of definition. The more I think about community, the more I realize that it isn't just about the area one lives in, or about the interactions between people. I think community is more about a way of life. It's the helping each other out, being there for each other. It's not just about being neighbors. It's not about having meaningless small talk. It's about the bonds that form between people.

I think organizations can have communities. I think people that don't even live near each other can be part of a community. I know I'm part of several of them. I have my home church. Elkin Valley is such an amazing place. I have my BSU community. I have some great friends there. I've seen forums online in which the members have formed their own special communities, because they all understand each other in regards to some aspect of their lives.

So, I guess my point is that community is an abstract more than it is a concrete concept. What do you think it is?

Duty night...

Just in case I never say it, I hate sitting in the office. I get bored. Especially on nights when I don't have any homework. I don't have cell service, so I can't really talk or text anyone. Granted, a few people have come down and talked to me, but never for very long.

I'm not meant to sit in an office. That's what I'm so excited about being in law enforcement. It's a field that I've always wanted to go into, for several reasons. First, I'm a daddy's girl. I can admit it. I'm ok with it. Second, I've always had a desire to work in the world. I see things that are wrong, and while I know I single-handedly can't fix them, I can help protect. Protect and Serve--how cliched is that? Finally, I just have to be out. I can't sit and thrive. Even classes get hard for me if they just consist of lectures. I need to be around people. That's why I realized that I couldn't be a lawyer. I wouldn't be happy if I just sat in an office most of the day.

It's hard to believe that I'm less than a year away from graduating now. Maybe one day, I can reflect back on what it was like when I first came to college. But that's for another day.

Life...

I was talking to Emily earlier this afternoon, and was telling her some of mine and Sean's plan for forever. It's funny to me how so many of my friends that dated in high school pretty seriously have all ended those relationships. Instead, I'm the one talking about getting married, and looking so forward to it. Every day brings me that much closer to forever with him. We're shooting for sometime in 2009 after he graduates and takes the Nursing exam so that he can be an RN. So probably around July-September. We're serious about it though. It's hard to believe that this time 2 years ago, we were just friends and I kind of liked his friend. I couldn't imagine my life without him now. He's such an awesome man!

But the point of this is that we both want kids. We've talked about names, we've talked about when we want to have them. And even though we both want to have our own kids, we've talked some about adopting too. I feel that I should have a child from a Latin American country. I love the idea of having a child that is of Hispanic descent. I honestly don't want to have studied so much about these fantastic countries just to use some street Spanish when I'm out working. And there are so many children that need homes. Not that I'm saying that I feel sorry for them in any way or anything, but I just feel like I can provide the home for these kids. Even if Sean does tell me that I can't only speak Spanish to them; they have to learn English too.

So what do we do? I mean, it's all just a dream right now. I can't wait to see where life takes us, and what plans God has in store for us and our future family.

Hmm...

I was sitting and thinking last night in Sean's room, and I got to wondering. How do other people see the world? I don't mean that in a really deep sense; after all, it was nearly 11 o'clock. I mean in a physical sense. When I look at grass and see that it is green, do other people see the same color that I see? Or is it different, but is green to them, because that is what we are taught? That seems like a really interesting thought to me, because it would affect all kinds of things. Maybe that is why artists paint things so many different ways. That just see the colors differently. And this idea could go for shapes, or for sounds, or for smells. Really, I guess my question is just, What is the world like for you?

So seriously, who lays around at night and thinks about stuff like this? I mean, I can use my sociological imagination and see the world through the perspective of others, but I only see the social world that way. How do you figure out what looks good, smells good, tastes good, sounds good, to other people? It's such a personal thing, but something that we all share as well.