1:30am

It's 1:30 in the morning, and I can't sleep. Seriously. I took a 30 minute nap, but that shouldn't have done this to me. I blame it on the cookie and milk. I've really been trying to get my body out of this habit of snacking at night, but this cookie was equal to probably 4 normal ones. Sean, Ryan, and I ate a roll of cookies by ourselves. I had a quarter of it. So I think I'm just on a sugar rush.

Problem is, I'm getting up in the morning to run. I went once this week. I should have gone more, but I really think my legs aren't used to the hills yet. That sounds stupid, but I've got the pain in my shins that I get at the beginning of every semester, or every camp season. It just takes my body some time to get readjusted to the movement and the angles. But I'm going in the morning for sure. I need the de-stress time. I've realized that when I run, I really don't think much about anything. And the other day, I really wanted to stop and walk, but I didn't let myself. I know that I can run a mile easy, and can do more if I push. So wanting to walk for a minute just wasn't going to cut it. I have to psych myself up.

I did 5 push-ups tonight. That sounds like such a measly number, but it's a big deal for me. They weren't modified. In January, I couldn't do any. At all. Modified or not. And I've not been very diligent about practicing them. But I'm trying. Even if I don't go to a police academy, or BLET, at least I know that I'll be more fit. Something has finally clicked in me that I can't get by like this anymore. It's fine now, but it will lead to a lot of problems for me down the road if I don't get off my butt and get in shape.

So I guess I'm going to try to go to bed now. After I try for 5 more. What can I say? I think I've finally got the fitness bug. Now I just have to keep myself motivated.

zoo

This is my favorite picture from when we went to the zoo a few weeks ago. If you look closely at Sean's shoulder, you can see a little blue fish. I love the effect of his reflection on the picture.

I totally should be straightening up my room right now. The floor is fine, but there are water bottles sitting on everything. Sean's been hanging out down here a lot since my room is larger and cooler than his, so I'm producing twice the trash that I'm used to having.

I've really loved spending this last week with him and just being around him. Honestly, we need this summer. We need all this time before he moves to Asheville and sales his soul back to the nursing program for the last year (well, until he's starts grad school). And I kick it into high gear with the whole, "let's finish school and find a job and find a place to live and oh crap I'm a grown-up now" part of life. In all seriousness, it's just nice to be able to relax with him. To eat every meal together and talk and plan and just be. There's no stress right now. This is probably the only time life will ever be like that, so I'm taking advantage of it.

In other news, John graduates tomorrow. Really. I feel old. I know I'm not that much older than him, but it doesn't seem like my (not so) little brother should be getting ready to go to college. For that matter, it doesn't seem like I should be graduating. And yet, I'm ready. I'm ready for life, and for being settled somewhere and not living in a cubicle and out of boxes.

Finally, nothing new with the wedding plans. Frankly, I just want to enjoy myself right now. I did decide to keep looking for the perfect dress. And try somewhere else, just to get a feel for what all is out there. But I'll kick it into high gear soon. I promise. Just not yet. I'm just enjoying this whole relaxing thing for a little bit longer.