Very much blah

I'm not sure what's going on with me. I'm very blah feeling. I know it would get better if I went for a run or something, but I'm not really feeling that either. I'm just down. Maybe it's because it's almost 4 o'clock, and I'm still sitting in my room. I've not made any effort to get ready today or anything.

I have no motivation. An outline that should have taken an hour or so took nearly three. I just can't seem to get focused on anything. Weekends are hard. This is the first one where I haven't seen Sean at all, and I think that may be part of the problem.

I've just got to push through a few more months. Graduation is December 13th. That's not that far away. I can do this. I can.

Just another night on duty

Uggh...one thing I'm really looking forward to when I graduate is not having weekend duty anymore. I want to be able to go to bed when I'm ready, and not have to worry about getting a phone call in the middle of the night about random crap that's happening.

And yet, I love this job. I love the people that I work with. I love the people that I've met. I love the adrenaline rush I get when I have to handle a situation. I love knowing that I can handle it, and I love that I have back up I can call when I can't.

This has been a stressful week. I've been trying to stay on top of school work, I'm constantly thinking about the wedding and how much still needs to be done, and trying to balance out work and school and friends. I know that I'm just trying to do too much. And yet, I feel that if I had less to do, I would be totally bored.

Much of the problem is that it's just killing me to be so far away from Sean. I could get so much more accomplished if I could just stop daydreaming about him all the time. If we could meet for lunch, I wouldn't be as apt to just sit and mope about how much I miss him.

And it's oh so much. We were talking last night, and I was telling him how lucky I feel to have found forever on the first try. I can honestly say that he's my best friend. There are things that I've trusted him with that no one else will ever know. We've been through some rough times, but we always come out stronger. That sounds really cliched, but it's 100% true.

He has my heart. I'm so excited that in 5.5 months, I'll be Liz Snyder. I'm one lucky girl.




Oh, and here's what I learned to do this week. They aren't quite perfect, but I would say they're pretty close. I'm really lovin' Gimp.

Big news!

So, remember that totally cryptic entry from July? Well, I'm ready to reveal what it was about now.

Sean and I have decided to move the wedding up to February 28, 2009. That's five months, three weeks, and three days from right now. We went to bed on Saturday night with 321 days left, and woke up with 180 left. That was one nice sleep. :)

Now the fun stuff begins. We're trying to get everything figured out that we want, so that we can have this thing and finally be MARRIED! Oh man, I'm so super excited about it. When it was scheduled for July, we were both like "ehhh." Now though, we're ready!

As plans get more and more pulled together, I'll be sure to post things here. All in all though, I don't really care about all the little details! I'm marrying my best friend...that's the ONLY thing that really matters!


Oh, and here's a picture I did. I've been playing around with some photo editing, just in case you couldn't tell!

Back to the swing of things...

Classes have begun again. It's going to be a long semester; I can already feel it. It's not that I have super hard classes or anything, they're just all super intensive work-wise. Luckily, I like to do work.

Running is going superbly. I did just over 2 miles this morning without stopping at all. It's hard to believe that at the beginning of June, so less than 3 months ago, I was struggling to get a full mile. And it's so cool to see how much better I feel now that I get up and do something in the mornings. I mean, it's 8:30 and I've already ran and took a shower. Now I just have to make it through 3 classes, get new tires for my car (maybe today?), and go to BSU tonight.

It's going to be a good semester. IIt has to be; it's the last one!!

I should be in bed right now...

...since I'm facing a 22 hour day tomorrow. And that's just working. I have to be in the lobby to set up at 6:30 am, and I get off at 2 am. Granted, I won't be in the lobby the whole time, but I'll still be up doing stuff. I'm really hoping to sneak a nap in at some point, because otherwise I won't be functional on Saturday. And I'm most definitely NOT going for a run tomorrow. Saturday, maybe. Actually, definitely. Tomorrow, no way.

Anyway, this post is really about my new life quote. For some background (just in case anyone actually reads this stuff), the football team at Western has been notoriously bad for some time. The team has very low morale, as a result. In December, we got a new head coach, and subsequently an all-new coaching staff. They've taken the team from 83 members to 65. This is because of my quote.

Dennis Wagner, the head coach, spoke at the campus leaders' dinner last night. He told us that many of those that are no longer on the team said that they couldn't do something. He then said:

We don't say "I CAN'T". We say "I CHOOSE NOT TO."

I've decided to live by this from now on. I can do anything that I set my mind to. Obviously, if I physically can't do it, then I just have something to work towards. I'm guilty of choosing not to do things. All the time. But I'm working on it. I'm choosing to try new things. To push myself to new limits. To better myself.


And in other news, I'm over halfway to my August goals for miles running/walking. And this time, more of it is being run than walked!

Taking a break

...from unpacking, and from work stuff. I'm so tired of being at school. Only one more semester. I really just want to get a job, get a place to live, and get married. Not necessarily in that order.

I don't really have anything to talk about. I've been kind of down about the fact that I don't get to see Sean for a few more weeks, but I might see what he's doing on Sunday, and go visit him. There's no way I'm going to make it until who knows when. It'll just be tough, because Ryan's coming in for the weekend, so they may already have plans.

I just watched a commercial on how to decorate a dorm room. It was crap. No room is that big, and students don't typically get a private room without paying a premium. And what student is going to bring in all new furniture and stuff? Obviously the writers are out of touch with college life.

I'm starting a new afghan soon. I really should try to finish the one I started crocheting, but I'm not motivated to work on it. I'm planning to knit one that's going to be amazing. It's super soft yarn, and will look really good as a throw over a couch. I'm excited about it.

Sean and I are still talking about stuff, but I'm hoping we'll have a decision made soon. That's part of why I want to talk to him in person. But who knows what will happen. I'll post more about it when we decide for sure.

That's it for now. Bye!

Back to school. Not that I ever really left, but they did make me go home for a couple days. It's going to be a good semester. It has to be. It's the last one.

I'm at such an odd spot right now in life. I feel like I should already have a job lined up, or at least have applications out. Unfortunately, I need to wait, because it's 4 months until I can officially start. But Dr. Briggs has contacts, and she's told me she would be willing to make some calls on my behalf. That helps.

Sean and I are still trying to decide what we want to do about the wedding. The job thing is really holding me back with plans, because things may change. But thats all I really want to say about that. We still have some things to talk about, and a couple people to talk to, before we finalize anything.

I've got to find a place to live starting the end of December or beginning of January, but until Sean and I figure out everything, then I can't really do that either. I'm just trapped in a place of limbo right now. It's killing me.

It's tough. I just need to figure this all out, somehow. I've no doubt that we'll be alright. I just want to be able to see into the future, so I would know what we decide to do. I'm so confused all the time.

Have I managed to confuse you yet?