nothing really to say.

I really don't have much to say. I've got some stuff going on in my head, but I'm not really ready to put it out there in the Internet world until I decide what I want to do with it. Suffice to say, I talked to one of my professors about it, and all the stuff that I have on my plate, and she's helping talk me through it, and telling me to learn to say no. Which I'm working on.

As I sit watching the news tonight, it saddens me that we only hear about the bad things, or about the odd happenings. I don't really care that ball players from Wofford got arrested because they started a brawl when they couldn't get into a frat party. It's just weird that a woman was flashed by a man while she waited for her kid to get off the school bus. It was just luck that the bus was late. Or about the fact that a teenager rode in the trunk of a car to make room for a television. Or that a car that had a kid in the backseat got towed.

Seriously, why can't we hear about the positives? Or about things that are real news? I really don't like watching it. All it does is propagate fears in the general public. It makes me think about the comic "Rex Morgan, M.D." In it right now, there has been an outbreak of MRSA in three teenagers, and one has died. The community is up in arms about it. What they don't realize is that many of them have the Staph virus growing in their noses already. When something gets reported by the media, it gets sensationalized, and the public loses the facts.

I just heard that a guy was arrested for having an alligator in the backseat of his car. He found it on the side of the road.


Anyway, that's really all that's going on here. I'm throwing in a picture of Sean and me from Easter. It's really not that great of him, but I like it of me. There's 1 year and 99 days until we get married. I'm excited!

And here's one of me and John. I can't believe he's going to college this year. It makes me feel old. I still remember his first day of kindergarten.

presentation

I finished writing my Spanish presentation. To just read it, it is running right at 7 minutes. Unfortunately, I can't just read it to the class. No, I have to lecture with only an outline. I might cheat and use some notecards too. I can talk about things for 10 minutes if it's a topic I'm well-versed in. Unfortunately, Spanish police (that is, the police in Spain) is a topic I know very little about. Especially having to say it all in Spanish.

But at least it's written. I can do this. I have most of tonight, other than a staff meeting. And once it's done, this class will get so much easier. I can write a paper and take a test like it's nothing. I'm just not so comfortable in my "habilidad para hablar en Espanol." Meaning, I don't have confidence in my ability to speak the language.

Oh well, it's just once, right?

Short and Sweet

I don't like studying.


or presentations where I don't get to use notecards or powerpoint. Especially if it's in Spanish.



Yeah, good week here. I've just got to make it to Friday.

almost 2 am

Yeah, it's almost 2. I gave up laying in bed; sleep just isn't happening right now. I've had this problem every night this week. I go to bed, lay down, and.............nothing happens. This is a new problem for me. I can't remember ever not being able to go to sleep every night for a week. One night, sure, but never this many. So, what's a girl to do?

Update her blog of course!

There's really nothing going on in my world. It's been a fairly easy week, class-wise. It's been hard going from spending everyday of Easter Break with Sean to only seeing him for a few minutes sometimes. I'm not sure how I'm going to make it through next year when he's in Asheville. Especially with gas prices going through the roof. I mean seriously. I hope they keep me as an RA. Otherwise, we'll never see each other. There's no way I could afford the drive down there.

Wedding plans are going, well, nowhere. I have lots and lots of ideas running around in my head, but I'm trying to wait until this summer when I have three weeks off to really get my teeth sunk into it. But I've got ideas about what kind of dress I want, and decorations, and colors. But the invite list--that's going to be a nightmare. And I've already started having dreams about it. The other night, I dreamed I got married in the laundry room in my residence hall, and walked down the "aisle" to Hell's Bells. Weird, right? It's no wonder I can't sleep now.

Work is finally starting on the grant project. I'll be calling people to set up phone interviews starting hopefully on Monday. It's so cool to be able to work on this with Drs. Brown, Briggs, and Mason. I'm really starting to look forward to this summer. Not only is this going to look awesome on my resume, but it's also giving me a chance to build relationships with PhDs. Not every college student can say that they've worked that closely with faculty. Especially in Applied Criminology and Emergency Management. They aren't fields that are very heavy on collaborated research. And even if people never even know that I helped, the experience is beneficial. Plus, it will give me a different perspective on issues that I'll deal with in the field later.

There really isn't anything else going on. I have a song from BSU tonight still running through my head, but I'm sure it will go away eventually. I love songs with catchy rhythms, but this one has been playing over and over since we sang it at 7:45. So I'm ready for it to go. It's only got about eight lines in the whole song, so it's getting annoying. And I can only hear the harmony part. It's not very nice anymore.

Well, I guess I'll try this bed thing again. Maybe this time, I'll fall asleep. The worst thing is, I'm on duty this weekend, so my sleep schedule will stay messed up. And I've not even been taking naps! Maybe that's the problem.

Oh, and I've got a new picture of me and Sean that we took at formal, but I'm waiting to post it. Daddy and Granny both took some at Easter, so I was going to post them all at the same time. And maybe one of me and Claire. Delaney didn't want to be in a picture with us.

Seriously????

Yeah...this is crazy ...

check it out!

Road to Nowhere

Last night (well, more like this morning), Sean, me, Jenny, Cameron, Travis, and Katie Rath went out to Bryson City to the Road to Nowhere. It's an old road that was started, and then funding ran out, so building it was halted. The beginning of the part that can be walked is a tunnel. We all thought it would be fun to go through it at midnight with no flashlights. While it was drizzling.

The whole idea came about because we were talking about places that were creepy at supper before BSU formal. So we all just decide to go. Of course, we changed first; tunnels+rain+heels=not fun.

Ok, so that's the set-up. We get there, and we all head in. Sean and I linked up arms and went last. Everyone else is talking about how creepy it is, and stuff to that effect. I on the other hand have totally different thoughts.

This tunnel is pitch black. Faintly in the distance one can make out the outline of the end, but barely. Once you get about halfway through, you can no longer see any light from the entrance, and you have no sense of direction. All you can feel is changes in temperature, and the asphalt (or dirt and leaves) under your feet.

As I was walking, trying so hard to remain focused on the light at the end of the tunnel, I had to totally different thoughts. First, I thought about the fact that I was experiencing (temporarily) blindness. I couldn't imagine having sight, and then losing it. To be essentially trapped in a sea of darkness. To know that there were things around you, and not knowing what it was. To be touching a person, but not to even be able to see his/her face. To try so hard to see light, and to not know if it was really there, or if you were just imagining it. People used to ask if I would rather lose my sight or my hearing. I would always say sight, because I love music. But after that experience, I would prefer not to lose either. If God took one away from me, it would be alright, and I would learn to live with it, but I could never choose to lose either one.

My second thought revolved around Jesus after his crucifixion. As I fixed my gaze on the light ahead of me, but would turn around and see nothing but a dark abyss, I began to think about what Jesus experienced during his three days in Hell. While I know NOTHING is that terrible, I could only imagine what it felt like to be leaving it. To be able to travel to the light finally, to leave the terrible darkness behind. But I also think about how he felt, knowing that so many people would never be able to travel into that light that was God, because they never knew Him, or would never know Him. And it just made me so thankful that my life will never be in that total darkness, that I'll be in the light for all of eternity. But I also need to be aware of those that are not His followers. Do I want them to dwell forever in the darkness? Of course not. Therefore, I have to go out and tell them about Him.

It's my life!

Let me just start with saying, I can get a job without getting a masters; the field I'm going into doesn't even require a 4-year degree. Mom's cousin Sherry decided to tell me this weekend that I HAD to get my masters right after I finished here, because I would never go back. I will go back. I've got a plan for how I'm going to do this. And that's irrelevant. I'm going to do things the way I need to do them that will be best for me. Right now, it's not going back to school. Just because she did it that way does not mean that I need to. Anyway, after I got tired of her and walked off, she started telling Mom how I was making a mistake and needed to go back. It's MY life. I'm doing it MY way.

Well, since she wasn't able to change my mind about that, she decided to start giving me wedding advice. I have a pretty good idea about what I want at this point, we just haven't started finalizing the details yet. I don't mind people talking about it; I want to talk about it. I don't like when they tell me the ideas I have are going to make it like a "sideshow." That's inappropriate. And I really don't like when they start telling me how much money I'm going to spend on flowers and such. I don't care that they had to spend over $500; I don't plan on it. And I understand that it can add up quickly, but if people would actually listen when I say I want it to be really simple and not full of frill and stuff, they might actually get it. I don't think a wedding should be about the decorations, or the dresses, or the food. It's about the fact that Sean and I are making a commitment to spend forever together. We want people there to celebrate with us, not to come look at fancy decorations that aren't representative of our personalities.

Now, if everyone can just understand that this day is going to be about US, and that the rest of my life will be done in the way that is best for US, then we'll all be good. Otherwise, I'm just going to snap one day and start telling people that I really just want them to butt out.

(And as a disclaimer, I welcome ideas. Just don't shoot down mine, or make it sound like yours is the only way to do it. I promise, if it's something I like, I'll consider it. But tulle and flautists? Those aren't my things. Neither are trumpets and french horns. Simple...I want to keep it simple!)