Jesus is coming...in a MINIVAN!

I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. I just got off the phone with one of the girls from Western that's working at camp; campers come tomorrow for the first time. It was hard talking to her. Hearing about what they've been doing, about the people she's met, about her fears. I've been there. I want to be there. I know that I'm where God wants me this summer, and I know that He has a plan for me, but sometimes I just can't understand why I couldn't go back.

And most of the time, I'm ok. I think about it, and I smile. But talking to Lauren and thinking about it and the people and the campers and the Chapel and everything that just means so much to me hit again. I love camp. I always will. People really can't understand what I mean when I talk about it, because they haven't experienced it. Even I don't have the words to explain it.

I remember back when Sean and I had first started dating, and he was asking me why I worked there. I can't remember what I told him. But I'm sure it was something like this: "Camp is a place where I know I'm with God. I can see Him there in the smiles and tears, laughter and prayers, games and songs, mealtimes and worship. It's a place where I was meant to serve, where I feel most comfortable. It's like going home. It's about being surrounded by girls that understand me. It's about some friendships I made way back in 2004 that will last a lifetime."

And it's over for me. I mean, I may go back as a missionary sometime if God calls me to serve somewhere first, but I know that I'm done going as a staffer. It was a great four years. I just can't believe that it's over. A door has closed in my life. I just have to make sure that I don't get so focused on the shut door that I stop looking at the open window right next to it.