It's hard to believe that another semester has come and gone. Overall, I've done pretty well. Still waiting on one grade to come in, but it looks like a 4.0 semester! That's so exciting for me. I'm still having to work to get my GPA back to where I want it to be after that corrections and spanish 302 fiasco that brought it down and kept me off dean's list last spring. But it's all good. I've almost got a 3.7 overall right now. I think I can hit it when I get that last one posted.
I'm going to miss a bunch of people. Now that I'm getting older, I know more people graduating. It isn't going to be the same not working with some people, or having others come talk to me in the office. Or having Cameron around. Shoot, he and Jenny are together so much that it's like he practically lives here. But he'll just be in Asheville, so he can come visit.
Also, Sean will be in Asheville for his last year of nursing school. I'm so proud of him for how well he did this semester. It was really touch and go for awhile, just because he was taking 6 more hours than everybody else. But he passed. And he's looking for a place to live. He's pretty amazing. I'm going to miss having him five minutes away though.
But, he'll be up here with me this summer. We're both really looking forward to 10 weeks in the same building. He's already got a list of things for us to do while we're here. Nothing too crazy. But we're going to try and spend some major time together before there's an hour commute and crazy gas prices separating us.
Oh, and we got all my graduation stuff figured out. My internship had fallen through, and was going to leave me six hours short. But we've moved some stuff around and used a SOC class for CJ credit, and now I'm going to only need nine hours this summer, instead of 12. So in the long run, even if I'm not doing my internship, I'll still be coming out on top. And saving nearly $600. Fantastic!
Saturday, May 10, 2008
One more done...
Sunday, April 27, 2008
God, why?
God,
I know I shouldn't ask why. I should just trust that all things happen in your time. I should just believe that Lori had accomplished all she had to here on earth. I should rejoice that another one of Your daughters has been called home.
But I can't right now. It's not that I'm angry with you, God. No, it's that I'm mad that I hadn't kept in touch with her. That it had been months since I told her I loved her. I'm upset that she had to die so far away from her parents.
I know she got to see them for Christmas. And I'm so glad she got that chance to go home. She loved Africa so much. And that love will live on through all the people she has touched, that may one day go there. I know she's touched me God. I feel like I'm rambling, but it's just so hard to have coherent thoughts right now.
It just hit me. I know I posted a blog about her a little while ago, but it didn't seem real then. It wasn't until I looked at her myspace page and "Bride" was playing. She did so much God, but there were so many things I know she wanted to do. Yet, I can't be mad, because she is now eternally YOUR bride. She's dancing and singing and in Your presence. I just don't understand.
She wanted to make a difference. I know she did, because she touched me, and so many other people I know, but God, she wanted to work with kids, with families. And I'm finding it hard to understand why, in the last few weeks, I've felt like that was what I should be doing. Is it that you mean for me to pick up where she left off? Because I don't have the spirit that she had. She knew how to love like Jesus. I'm still struggling with that.
But God, I think about a line in Kelly's song: "Only God fully knows, all that we can be. ALL THAT WE CAN BE." God, thank You for letting Lori be all that she could be. For the impact she had on my life. For the chance to see her love, and to be loved by her. For the chance to love her. And for helping me to be all that I can be.
God, please protect her family while they try to get here. I can't imagine what it must be like for her parents, to be in Africa and trying to come home. Or for her sisters. Her neices and nephews. Her extended family. Her friends at school. Help them to remember that, while we don't understand why, that You do. And that she's with You right now. Praising you for eternity.
I loved her God, and I always will.
Amen.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Lori Morrison
1) Christ is the possible in the impossible situation
2) Patience is beautiful and waiting is not something to be ashamed of
3) My body is a temple...
4) Obedience is everything
5) I will be disciplined, because God disciplines those He loves just as a Father disciplines His son that he loves
6) Satan knows my weaknesses and delights in my downfalls
7) Never allow Satan the chance to delight in my misery
8) NOTHING in this world does satisfy, thus why the need for Jesus in every midst and part of my life..
9) I have no answers...
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Camp
Tonight at BSU, we had a commissioning service for the people doing Summer Missions through BSCNC. I got a little teary, but nothing too major. It made me think back to the last four summers, and how much I had learned.
But then we split up into small groups to pray for each of them. I started praying for Nick Clanton, got out one sentence, and totally lost it. Sobbing and everything. It finally hit me that for the first time since high school, I won't be going back. I won't get to spend my summer sleeping on a plastic mattress, and singing mindless songs, and waking up at the crack of dawn and being fake happy until after breakfast. I won't be surrounded by amazing women of God. I won't get to worship with over 200 girls and women every night. I won't get the chance to see lives changed on the mountain.
And that's so hard for me to realize. But in all honesty, I think camp had become my comfort zone. It was no longer a challenge in the literal sense. Sure, things would get tough, but the nerves from my first summer never returned.
Yet, that mountain will always be so dear to me. I've laughed there, cried there. I've met some of my best friends. Those girls know me in ways that no one else ever will. A bond is created when you live with someone, work with someone that closely. I saw one of those girls a few weeks ago. Even though we hadn't seen each other in over a year, it was like nothing had changed. We were different, but we were still the same, because we had that bond.
I miss that. I miss breathing God. I miss the fact that I was surrounded by people I could trust with anything. I miss having a bad day and having so many girls come up and hug me and pray for me. I miss campers. I miss the laughter. I miss the paths. I miss my sanctuary.
I just miss it. The people I've met, the things I've done there, have changed my life forever.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Stupid People
I really don't understand why people are so stupid. Last night was one of the worst that I've had to deal with as an RA. Actually, it was many of the same people I've dealt with before, it just seemed to escalate. It all started with Bryant coming to get me to tell me there was vomit on the outside stairs. And of course, there's no clean-up box, so I got to do it with water and disinfectant. Then we sprayed down what we think was a beer spill in the stairwell, and then went to break up a party. Only when they realized it was us, they pretended like no one was there. So we called the cops.
Suffice to say, we found over 10 underage people, and a 14 year old whose parents got a phone call at midnight to come get him. Once that was over, we dealt with some beer poured up and down one hall, torn up bulletin boards, and feces in the stairwell. Yeah, all done by the same people.
I just can't wrap my head around the fact that they would do stuff like that. I would never bring a kid to a party, even if it was my younger brother. I would never refuse a breathalyzer if I hadn't had anything to drink, unless I was lying. I would never cuss at the cops and an RA. It's like respect isn't a part of these people. And frankly, I don't know why anyone would. They didn't help their cases at all by doing that stuff. And then to continue wreaking havoc? Seriously, that was just dumb. Especially because we have witnesses that saw them and described them to us.
I guess the issue is that I was raised better than that. And one would think that people would be more mature since they are in college. But no. Or at least that they would realize that you can't pretend that the room is empty is someone has already cracked the door open. We're not stupid.
All in all, I'm just thankful for showers. That was WAY TOO MUCH crap (no pun intended) for me to deal with, and I felt nasty by the time I finally got done with it all.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
back at school
I spent the weekend at Sean's house. It was so nice to get away from campus, and to just totally veg out. I hung out with his parents, and we played with his cousin, and baked, and watched movies, and just overall did nothing even remotely related to school. We didn't really even talk about it. It was absolutely fantastic.
I'm so blessed to be with a man who has great parents. So many of my friends have future in-laws that really don't like them, or at least aren't that friendly acting towards them. I couldn't imagine being in a situation like that. I don't know if I could handle having someone that would cut me down all the time, or just not accept me for who I am. I'm not only getting a great husband, but great new family too!
