Camp

Tonight at BSU, we had a commissioning service for the people doing Summer Missions through BSCNC. I got a little teary, but nothing too major. It made me think back to the last four summers, and how much I had learned.

But then we split up into small groups to pray for each of them. I started praying for Nick Clanton, got out one sentence, and totally lost it. Sobbing and everything. It finally hit me that for the first time since high school, I won't be going back. I won't get to spend my summer sleeping on a plastic mattress, and singing mindless songs, and waking up at the crack of dawn and being fake happy until after breakfast. I won't be surrounded by amazing women of God. I won't get to worship with over 200 girls and women every night. I won't get the chance to see lives changed on the mountain.

And that's so hard for me to realize. But in all honesty, I think camp had become my comfort zone. It was no longer a challenge in the literal sense. Sure, things would get tough, but the nerves from my first summer never returned.

Yet, that mountain will always be so dear to me. I've laughed there, cried there. I've met some of my best friends. Those girls know me in ways that no one else ever will. A bond is created when you live with someone, work with someone that closely. I saw one of those girls a few weeks ago. Even though we hadn't seen each other in over a year, it was like nothing had changed. We were different, but we were still the same, because we had that bond.

I miss that. I miss breathing God. I miss the fact that I was surrounded by people I could trust with anything. I miss having a bad day and having so many girls come up and hug me and pray for me. I miss campers. I miss the laughter. I miss the paths. I miss my sanctuary.

I just miss it. The people I've met, the things I've done there, have changed my life forever.